All About Steve – The worst movie on Sandra Bullock
“All About Steve” might just be the worst movie on Sandra Bullock’s résumé. What makes this insult (to her, to us) even worse is that her production company backed the project. This means that unlike movie stars of the classical studio system, who were contractually obliged by their bosses to sometimes play insulting, trivializing roles, Ms. Bullock, or more likely her representatives, actually tapped people to make her look this bad. She’s the mistress of her own misfortune.
As it often does, an unfortunate hairdo serves as an early indicator of the ensuing trouble. (See also Elizabeth Taylor in “Cleopatra” and Colin Farrell in “Alexander.”) Wearing a honeyed shag that’s probably meant to evoke Jane Fonda in “Klute” but looks like a repurposed mullet, Ms. Bullock enters grinning and squinting and twitching in a pantomime of frenetic adorableness. When the movie opens, her character, Mary Horowitz, a crossword puzzle creator, is living with her parents while her home is being fumigated. Given her social ineptitude and overworked wackiness — her logorrhea, ubiquitous red boots and a pet rodent that appears to be her only friend — it’s a surprise she ever left the parental nest.
The Steve in question is a news cameraman played by the hard-smiling Bradley Cooper, who materializes during an improbable blind date. Smitten at first sight, Mary breaks out the push-up bra and desperation. And because she’s a female character of a certain age in a romantic comedy, she doesn’t just smooch, she also swoons. Oblivious to the sound of Steve’s screeching tires, she gives chase, a decision that takes her from one news hot spot to another and into assorted humiliations. Happily for us, the inert filmmaking comes with some quirky types whose comic faces and timing provide periodic if slight relief: so thank you, Thomas Haden Church, Katy Mixon, D J Qualls, Ken Jeong, Jason Jones and, for an eye blink, Charlyne Yi.
